No excuses, no tragic backstory making this inevitable. Not even a trauma response dressed up as a personality. This creature opted in to evil for pure love of the game. Looked at the options, picked this one, and stomping continues on purpose.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

For people who are sick of everyone blaming their star sign.