Opossums have been doing this for millennia. Play dead, the predator loses interest, life continues. This opossum has updated the technique for modern threats: get hit by a car, become legally undead, transcend bureaucracy. An elegant solution. Full commitment to the bit. A masterclass in dodging your responsibilities.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

For people whose fight-or-flight response skipped both and went straight to opossum protocol.